Well, its been a while and to be honest after discovering 7 pence a glass beer in Hanoi, I've not really done much! hehe well thats not quite true!

Hanoi (Vietnam's capital for mum) is a great, noisy place with more motorbike drivers than you can wave a baguette at... 'MOTORBIKE - COOOEEEE'... they some how think that despite you having walked past exactly 53 of their friends all shouting in the same bad English, waving their hands like they wanna get served at revolution MK on a sat. night (i.e. a bit loose wristed, ducky) and cooing you, you are get on their death trap, ex Russian military motorbike for a ride with more thrills and spills than an Alton towers ride after drinking beer Chang for four weeks solid. i.e.. i don't want a motor bike, now, not later not EVER! 1. Now thats off my chest the good things about Hanoi (and there are lots). Did i mention the SEVEN PENCE A GLASS OF BEER... admittedly it doesn't taste great, it does contain grit, flies, methanol, unknown dark matter and very little alcohol but its SEVEN PENCE! Its called Beer Hoi (fresh beer), and is sold on little street tables and chairs where the locals will come and sit with you and sing old patriotic songs to you, show you their war medals and start crying... this my friends is why i love Vietnam... no war blame, just war remembrance... now if only them bludey Germans could act the same!

2. After a week of heavy drinking, *(business as usual) i decided to climb the 2nd biggest mountain in SE Asia Peninsula, enter - Mount Fansipan. Accompanying me was a beer hoi buddy from Canada who decided we could do the 3 day trek in 2, and leave our guide behind (also a girl and guy from Israel, or 'endgagened monkeys' as we named them). This was after discovering our night accommodation 'in tents' was in a large tent with 13 other very smelly climbers... no sleep there then! Eventually we saw sense and stayed the night at the camp and found some old knackered tents to kip in.

3. I must have mentioned at least twenty times me and chimp are off to watch England take on the mighty Samoa in Melbourne in 9 days! Needless to say we shall try our best to be drunk and get on telly so keep an eye out! In an attempt to prepare me and my Canadian friends in Hanoi decided to go to the Hilton to watch the days rugby with 1US$ a beer, an outside cinema sized screen, specially imported turf, a bitter Scottish compare, and 6 plasma screens!

4. DMZ - this is the zone that saw the heaviest fighting during the Vietnam war (which of course they call the American war). This was admittedly not quite the bomb crater tour i expected but interesting none the less, going through tunnels the locals used (no not the army of course.. only the locals) and meeting a very cagey ex-soldier who refused to say which side he was on!

Needless to say we came away suitably drunken, with free tee-shirts, rugby balls and wide smiles... I got pissed in the Hilton, who would have thought it (and i left of my own free will!)

5. "Exciting the local old Vietnamese OAPS with a western sausage" - Today I'm off to china to start my overland trip in three days to Hong Kong, (as the flight was too darn expensive).. i'm not afraid to say I'm a little anxious about it, it is after all one of the hardest countries to communicate in (there is NO English spoken) and well it will be a challenge! So today I've been around town sorting out my laundry and some odds and ends and decided to take a leek in a public toilet.... little did I know that some old Vietnamese man decided to go have a look at what an English prime bit of meat looks like and was whacking off in the cubicle next to mine. He didn't speak English but the works 'I'm gonna f#cking smash your face into that basin if you keep that up' appears to have international meaning!

Oh well as long as I keep the locals entertained i suppose. Jackie i think i beat your perverted kids in Hue!

so off to the land of spitting and to meet my flight to get to .... OZ!!! see you all on the other side (of the world!)

Steve-o-

official sex symbol of all Vietnamese men over 50!

Steve-o-

below is my itinerary, and rules of travelling

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Steve-o-'s Rules of Travelling

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1. If staying in a dorm ensure NO ONE person in the dorm owns a plastic carrier bag as they WILL rustle it at 5am and pack their bag as noisily as the can (usually with the light on).

2. Always carry Imodium, especially when trekking in the jungle and when you have to sleep in a cave full of bat sh1te

3. When getting pissed, ensure a Norwegian accompanies you home, they know the way to bed and know how to stop drinking.

4. Ensure that you do not urinate in public toilets where old Asian men that have never seen one that colour before may get excited, and do a 'George Micheal' on you.

.... to be continued.

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Steve-o-'s Fav. travelling nations

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1. Norwegian couples that have imodium

2. Irish - they like beer, i like beer

3. Canadians - they like beer, I like beer

.... to be continued.

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Steve-o-'s Current Itinerary

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17th Oct : Train to Nanning, China

18th Oct : Train from Nanning to Guangzhou (nr. Hong Kong)

19th Oct : Cross over into Hong Kong

23rd Oct : Flight to Melbourne

26th Oct : Rugby - England vs Samoa

13th Nov : Onto Auckland

20th Nov : Cycle around the South Island!

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www.stevemorgan.me.uk

bletchley_scum@yahoo.co.uk

stevemorgan@uk2.net

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